slayboybunny:

I just tried to discretely use one if the body sprays at work cuz it was called Fantasy Forest and I was like…. I’m down…. BUT IT JUST SMELLS LIKE REALLY STRONG DIRT AND A GUY YELLED “WHO SPRAYED THAT FOREST ELF SHIT” FROM ACROSS THE STORE

I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?

Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.